Let Her Go
by Unika.Streeper
Summary: The answer was simple: I need not dive for her love; I only need to decide if her love is worth more than what is important to me or what I thought was. That's when I truly understand; you only need the light when it's burning low. You only miss the sun when it starts to snow, you only know you love her when you let her go and I let her go…


**Title**: Let Her Go  
**Rating**: PG- 13  
**Pairing**: Miranda / Andrea  
**Summary**: The answer was simple: I need not dive for her love; I only need to decide if her love is worth more than what is important to me or what I thought was. That's when I truly understand; you only need the light when it's burning low. You only miss the sun when it starts to snow, you only know you love her when you let her go and I let her go…  
**Author's Note**: Okay so, I was dying to create a song fic. I couldn't figure out why but I was. And so, this is what I came up with. It's funny cause I've been hearing this song from the radio and I couldn't for the love of god figure out the title so I searched it. I fell in love with the song so this is just something I made this afternoon. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it and tell me what you think about it ;)  
**Author's Note 2**: The Song Title is: Let her Go by: Passengers. In case you might want to listen to it before, while, or after you have read this ;)  
**Author's Note 3**:** Marg!** This is also for you honey! Some kind of a weird thank you gift for putting up with me and my last fic :-* I hope you like it!

**Miranda's POV**

I was up at my room reading some sort of book that I have forgotten I had a long time ago. I just kept it somewhere on the bottom of my bookshelf when I came across it the other day. I slipped it on my bedside table to make sure that when I have the time, I would get to read it. It was a Saturday morning and the twins were at their father's. The last issue of RUNWAY went to print yesterday so there was nothing for me to do at the office and I figured that giving my employees and myself a Saturday of leisure was something that would not hurt the magazine, well at least not yet. Having a leisure time has not been high on my list these days but it surely gave me the chance to just relax myself and take everything slow. This morning I got up the bed at Ten a.m., something that has not happened in the past few months. I had brunch and did a little cleaning up since I gave Cara the weekend off. If I was going to laze around the whole weekend until the twins came home, I'd rather do it alone. After Brunch I did a little cleaning, something that happened even more rarely as getting up the bed late. I had help in those simple matters. And yet, it gave me a sense of satisfaction when I did it. There is something different when you arrange and do things the way you want it to instead of having someone do it for you and settle for it. It was Three p.m. when I finished and decided on taking a little snack. After that I just went back to bed and buried myself under the comforts of my sheet with that book. It was quarter to six when I noticed that it was getting darker and colder. I looked at the window and the street lamps illuminated the falling snow from the skies. I was really engrossed on the book that I was reading that had room not gotten darker, I would not have noticed the time or the coldness setting on my room. I leaned over to open the lamp on my bedside table. Had not the room gotten darker, I would not have needed the light. And had I not needed the light, I wouldn't have switched on the lamp and gaze at the photograph it lighted beside it.

_Well you only need the light when its burning low,  
only miss the sun when it starts to snow,_

I picked up the frame and held it. It was the photo of us. It has been months since we unanimously decided that our relationship would do us more harm than good. Gazing at the photograph made my heart clench in a way that it hasn't in a while. I have not been a believer of moping nor will I ever be. The moment we decided to lead a separate life I never took one look back, I just decided to move on forward without much of a glance. I may be good at keeping my emotions checked and even in the privacy of my own room, I still keep them reasonable. But as I gaze at the photo in my hands, I started to feel really heavy. It was as if the burden of keeping my emotions bottled up was dragging me down on a dark pit.

This photo was taken at the central park a few months back when we started seeing each other socially. Caroline and Cassidy caught us off guard as they questioned our little afternoon out. They have not known that we were seeing each other but Andrea told me that they have also been catching up as of lately. Caroline went to the park to fill a little assignment on her photography lessons and Cassidy tagged along with her. We didn't confirm or deny our relationship with them and they understood that it was a matter to be discussed in a much private setting. So they just left us on the bench with the promise of being back in a few minutes after Caroline got her shots since the lighting was changing. A few days later, Caroline gave me this framed photograph. I was looking at the birds that were nesting on one of the trees, wondrously smiling at something that Andrea had said. That was the precise moment that the shot was taken. But instead of looking at the birds, Andrea was looking at me with such happiness in her eyes and a bright and genuine smile. It was a great photograph that captured a moment of genuine happiness on the brief moment of our affair.

I never noticed how happy I was back then. All I knew was that Andrea brought something out of me that no man ever had. It gave me a sense of elation, a sense of security, relief and contentment. I never knew that it was more than all of those things; it was love and happiness. I never knew of it until it was gone and forever to be vanished in my life. That's when a lone tear start to fall from my eyes. All those months that I kept everything bottled up inside of me, I never felt this heaviness in my heart. But looking at the photograph in my hands brought all the raging emotions that I have been carefully bottling up inside of me. That's when I realized something; I only knew I loved her when I've let her go. And I did.

_Only know you love her when you let her go, And you let her go._

**Andrea's POV**

"A crappy day for Ms. Junior Cub Reporter: Andy Sachs, once again!" I slurred over my glass of scotch. I didn't know how many I have had for the past 2 hours but if the throbbing in my head and the hotness on my cheek was anything to go by, I'd say I had more than enough. Today was another crappy day like all my days had been since we broke up. After chasing a lead somewhere at Brooklyn, I went directly out for a drink like I have been doing for the past few months. I used to enjoy this part of writing something, the unraveling of a story that a lot of people should know. But right now, I just want to go home. Home, where is home? I know that we have ended months ago but my heart seems to think that home is where ever she is and right now, my apartment is not where she will ever be, at least not anymore, so I have not been home. Not for the past few months. Thinking of it now, it hurts much stronger than it did before oh well, you only know you've been high when you're feeling low. You only hate the road when you're missing home and maybe that's why I never said I loved her until I let her go.

_Only know you've been high when you're feeling low,  
only hate the road when you're missing home.  
Only said you love her when you let her go.  
And you let her go_

I looked at the bottom of the glass I had on hand and I started remembering a time when I was more than this. More than a dozen of times I have asked myself what has become of me. When I was a kid I wanted to be a doctor like any other kid would say in the nursery. When I reached High School I started looking like I would have a promising career by the law. Then when I was about to graduate, I shifted my direction and decided that I would make a difference by being a journalist. I was good at writing. I mean I still am. But then after a year of being Miranda Priestly's assistant, my dreams shifted in a very unexpected turn, very far from expected. I'm pathetic. From a doctor - to a lawyer - to a journalist - to an assistant - to a hopeless lover, and now, down to being a crap on the soles of her shoes she choose to ignore. That's what I have become. But dreams come so slow and yet they go so fast in the flash of a second. And right now, my dreams are set on being just about anything as long as it would include being a part of Miranda Priestly's life. I am pathetic! What has become of me? Maybe if I had not shifted dreams and stick with Stanford, I wouldn't be so pathetic. But I have. And maybe someday I will understand why everything I seem to have decided on, just dies in my hand.

_Staring at the bottom of you glass,  
Hoping one day you'll make your dream last.  
But dreams come slow and they go so fast._

I was in no hurry to get back to my apartment knowing that once I do, I would just go to bed, close my eyes and dream of those same ocean blue eyes that hunted me every single night. We've been seeing each other for almost a year after I left her employ and I thought we had something going. We both did. Even though it seems like a blur to me now, I am sure our relationship was more than just a passing for the two of us. We had our bad moments of course, I mean which couple doesn't? But at the end of the day, we sorted everything, not wanting to go to bed with heavy hearts. It was only when the news hit that stand that everything went down the drain. We started being strained with one another, being more and more distant and as much as it hurt, we became more and more apart.

_You see her when you close your eyes.  
Maybe one day you'll understand why,  
everything you touch it surely dies._

The two of us knew that the moment we agreed seeing each other on an intimate level, everyone would be behind us about it. The two of us were frightened of course but we took the chance and just put everything off until we cross that bridge. But when we did, hell broke loose and we lost sight of what we've been fighting for. I remember the night it all unraveled and thinking about it now, I start realizing that maybe it wasn't all her fault like I have been saying for the past few months.

I was at the kitchen preparing dinner for our nine month anniversary. I have never been keen on celebrating but ever since the news of our outing and the paparazzi being on our ass everyday, we have been arguing and distant for the past few months. I wanted to do something special for just the two of us, something that would remind us that we are worth more that the circus the media is making us out to be, that we are worth fighting for. Of course those plans changed the moment she slammed the door at the town house close and decided to be la Priestly in front of me.

"**Have you read the post?**" she asked sternly as she went directly to bar to pour herself a drink. She took off her heels, sat down the bar stood and without waiting for my reply, continued "**Cradle Robbing Dragon lady, Snares Gold Digging Young Maiden**" she said "**Classic**" she finished as she downed her drink with a mirthless laugh.

I left the casserole on the oven, I closed it up and also poured myself a drink "**Honey, I thought we both agreed that we wouldn't be reading the post in a really long while**" I said as I kissed her on the cheek and went back to the kitchen counter.

"**I'm sorry. I was planning to do just that when Nigel almost slapped me with it even before I sat down on my office**" she said as she downed her second glass. "**Between that**" she gulped "**and Irv being a total pain in the neck for reducing this month's budget. Not to mention the twin's father prattling about filling for full custody if the kids are to be submitted in this and I quote 'degrading lifestyle' just the cherry of a fantastic day**" she said once again with a sarcastic laugh. I knew she was tired of everything but she wasn't the only one being exhausted about the circus our relationship has been for the past few months.

I knew I shouldn't have let her mood ruin our night but maybe because of the months of pent up stress, and the paps, and my job, and everything else we have been trying to work out, I just took off my filter and absentmindedly replied as I chopped up the vegetables for the salad. "**Well we both know Nigel is still walking on eggshells because of what happened in Paris.**"

She glared at me over her glass as if I was accusing her, which I wasn't, at least not intentionally; and spoke in a tone that would usually make a clacker melt her face off "**Thank you so much for reminding me**" she said sarcastically.

Putting the knife down, I sighed once again and calmed myself "**Are we fighting again?**" I asked.

"**No, I am simply sharing my day with you**" she said nonchalantly, as she took her blazer off.

Now that's just mean. She had a terrible day and she wanted me to have one too. That's just it "**Well honey, if you are going to be an ass about it, why don't you share it with someone else? I'm tired okay? I have had this incredibly shitty day too because of the press and I can hardly do my interviews with someone asking for a quote about our "disgusting love affair"** I blurted.

"**And whose choice was that?**" she asked me in that silent but deadly voice over a glare once again

"**Don't make this about me. That was your choice as much as it was mine**" I yelled.

"**Don't yell at me. I already told you what this would be like if it hit the stands**" she replied aggravatedly

"**I know and you know what? I have been a fool to think that it means we would be facing it together and that everything would be alright**"

"**What are you talking about? Don't be ridiculous, we are together**" She said.

"**We were Miranda! We haven't been in a really long while and for the past few months all our relationship has been is about the press! We hardly talk about anything else anymore!**" I yelled once again

"**Well I did say that we must deal with this before taking one step further in our relationship and you decided that a plan would not work, that we would just cross the bridge when we get there. Apparently, your plan backfired and now you are blaming me?**" by this time I was not the only one raising my voice. She never yelled, per se, but she was raising her voice a little higher than normal and that was how you would determine her yell.

For my part, I was really astounded of the worlds that were falling out of her mouth "**That's really low Miranda. Even for you! I didn't push you in this relationship! We both agreed to do it!**" I said.

"**And apparently, it's doing us more harm than good! You said so yourself you can hardly function well at work and I am being man handled by very superior and egoistic people because of it. If this would tear everything that I worked for in the last two decades, then I think we should…**" she stuttered

I couldn't believe what was happening. I knew her words caught her off guard too but she did mean it "**What Miranda? Come on say it. You were on the verge of saying it**" I urged her. She can't be thinking straight. Even after all the things we endured for each other for our… what? I asked myself. At that moment I didn't even know what we were fighting for anymore.

"**Rethink our decisions**" she whispered.

"**You can't be serious**" I said. I was already tearing up and in a matter of seconds tears would be falling from my eyes.

She too was getting more and more agitated. She was flushing read and her eyes were already blood-shot "**Well what do you suggest?! You already pointed it out that we are hardly together anymore! That our relationship for the past few months has been nothing more than about the press**" she said.

"**At least I am trying to salvage of what's left for the two of us**" for the first time she looked around and took in the candles on the dinner table with the plates perfectly set and the flowers on the center of it. She looked confused for a moment and regret flashed through her flustered face.

"**I guess you have forgotten, Happy Nine Month Anniversary darling!**" I sarcastically blurted out against the tears already flowing from my eyes.

"**I'm sorry**" She whispered once again. For a moment we just looked at the table and she also had tears falling from her eyes. I looked at her and for the first time in a really long while I finally understood that this was also tiring her. That we have been enduring it for months and that our only outlet was to argue about it and I didn't want it to be a regular part of our relationship because it would kill that one thing that we were fighting for which was nowhere near my mind right now.

"**I don't want to end up like this every day Miranda. I don't want to keep fighting. Is this what it's going to be from now on? Because if it is then I guess we should do what you have initially suggested. I think we should rethink our decisions**" she sat there motionless, as if she was contemplating on what would be her next words. A few moments more, she just stared at me wordlessly.

"**I guess this is it**" I said. No words of resentment, no words of disagreement. She just looked at me as tears flowed from her eyes.

"**I'm sorry**" She whispered once again. And that broke me. It hit me that she was as hurt by everything that took place as much as I am.

"**No don't be. I think we both understand and think much clearly now**" I said as I took my bag from the counter and walked towards the door. Before I could fully exit the kitchen, I passed by her and held her cheek on my hand. "**I want to continue loving you like I do now for the rest of my life. Bud if I stay, we lose it. I always thought our love would be enough but I guess it wasn't. And you'll blame loving me for how much it cost you**" I said. We were both crying now. It wasn't just my heart that was breaking. It was ours. "**I know we never said it to one another, but my actions whispered the words I never did. I love you.**" I said as I kissed her one last time before heading for the door.

It was 4 months ago and I still feel the sharp pain in my heart as I remember the details of that night that lead me to where I am right now; Lost, Heartbroken, and Unhappy.

**Miranda's POV**

Putting the book down on the bed, I silently began to weep. Everything just came crashing on me like a dam waiting to break. I clutched the framed photograph towards my chest and held unto it. Looking at the empty ceiling in the dark, that same old empty feeling crawl my senses like it has been for the past few months. Thinking of it now, I never knew what love was until I met her. And now, she's gone. I have been waiting for love all throughout my life and I just let her go. And right now, the only place I ever get to hold her is when I fall asleep. Those doe brown eyes and luscious lips that seemed so near yet so far. I see her in my sleep but never to touch since she was never mine to keep. I love her so much that I dived too deep, only to discover that the waters were too shallow and the answer was simple: I need not dive for her love; I only need to decide if her love is worth more than what is important to me or what I thought was.

_Staring at the ceiling in the dark  
same old empty feeling in your heart  
Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast.  
Well you see her when you fall asleep  
but never to touch and never to keep.  
Cause you love her too much and you dive too deep_

That's when I truly understand; you only need the light when it's burning low.  
You only miss the sun when it starts to snow, you only know you love her when you let her go and  
I let her go…

_Well you only need the light when its burning low,  
Only miss the sun when it's starts to snow.  
Only said you love her when you let her go  
And You let her go._

**Let Her Go**  
By: Passenger

_Well you only need the light when its burning low,  
only miss the sun when it starts to snow,  
Only know you love her when you let her go_  
_Only know you've been high when you're feeling low,  
only hate the road when you're missing home,  
only know you love her when you let her go,  
And you let her go._

_Staring at the bottom of you glass,  
Hoping one day you'll make your dream last.  
But dreams come slow and they go so fast.  
You see her when you close your eyes.  
Maybe one day you'll understand why,  
everything you touch it surely dies._

_But you only need the light when its burning low,  
only miss the sun when it starts to snow,  
Only know you love her when you let her go_  
_Only know you've been high when you're feeling low,  
only hate the road when you're missing home,  
only know you love her when you let her go,_

_Staring at the ceiling in the dark  
same old empty feeling in your heart  
Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast.  
Well you see her when you fall asleep  
but never to touch and never to keep.  
Cause you love her too much and you dive too deep_

_Well you only need the light when its burning low,  
only miss the sun when it starts to snow,  
Only know you love her when you let her go_  
_Only know you've been high when you're feeling low,  
only hate the road when you're missing home,  
only know you love her when you let her go,_

_And you let her go  
And you let her go  
Well you let her go  
_  
_Well you only need the light when its burning low,  
only miss the sun when it starts to snow,  
Only know you love her when you let her go_  
_Only know you've been high when you're feeling low,  
only hate the road when you're missing home,  
only know you love her when you let her go,  
And you let her go._

_Well you only need the light when its burning low,  
only miss the sun when it starts to snow,  
Only know you love her when you let her go_  
_Only know you've been high when you're feeling low,  
only hate the road when you're missing home,  
only know you love her when you let her go,  
And you let her go_

_-END-_

_**Please tell me what you think ;)**_


End file.
